Dear Beverly

You've been in my heart and on my mind.
Just stopped by to say hello.

            Smile.  Hello back at 'ya ... you remembered me.

Always.

Washington blew a 4 - 0 lead, but won it in extra innings.
Your boys zapped the Rockies 3 - 0 on Kemp's blast.

Two back, four to go.   It's getting exciting.

            Got my pencil and scorecard ready!

Got a tune for you today ... a bit different, enjoy.

http://youtu.be/RCQbXVIQvZI

She's faced the hardest times you could imagine
And many times her eyes fought back the tears
And when her youthful world was about to fall in
Each time her slender shoulders bore the weight of all her fears
And a sorrow no one hears still rings in midnight silence, in her ears

Let her cry, for she's a lady
Let her dream, for she's a child
Let the rain fall down upon her
She's a free and gentle flower, growing wild

And if by chance I should hold her
Let me hold her for a time
But if allowed just one possession
I would pick her from the garden, to be mine

Be careful how you touch her, for she'll awaken
And sleep's the only freedom that she knows
And when you walk into her eyes, you won't believe
The way she's always paying for a debt she never owes
And a silent wind still blows that only she can hear and so she goes

Let her cry, for she's a lady
Let her dream, for she's a child
Let the rain fall down upon her
She's a free and gentle flower, growing wild

Dear Beverly

Just stopped by to say hello.

               Oh Doll, you remembered me. 

Always.

You boys pounded the Rockies last night 8 - zip.
Still three back, but with just five to go.   Your boys need help.

Exchanged a few emails with your son.   He's doing good.
Knows about your favorite song.

            Smile.

  Have a tune for you today ... enjoy.

http://youtu.be/loWXMtjUZWM

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I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when I'm older
Aaaah woah-ah-aah

Now this mountain I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
And through the clouds I see love shine
It keeps me warm as life grows colder

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
Aaaah woah-oh-ooh

I'm gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me, oooh ooh-ooh ooh-ooh oooh
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
I can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
And I wanna feel, I want to feel what love is
And I know, I know you can show me

Let's talk about love
(I wanna know what love is) the love that you feel inside
(I want you to show me) I'm feeling so much love
(I wanna feel what love is) no, you just cannot hide
(I know you can show me) yeah, woah-oh-ooh
I wanna know what love is, let's talk about love
(I want you to show me) I wanna feel it too
(I wanna feel what love is) I wanna feel it too
And I know, and I know, I know you can show me
Show me what is real, woah (woah), yeah I know
(I wanna know what love is) hey I wanna know what love
(I want you to show me), I wanna know, I wanna know, want know
(I wanna feel what love is), hey I wanna feel, love
I know you can show me, yeah

Dear Beverly

Just stopped in to say hello.

            Mi Amor!   You remembered me.

Always

You boys won again ... Cards had the day off.
Three back, six to go.   Gonna be tough.
You finish at home against the Rockies and Giants.

No tune today, wrote something instead:

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Words can bring such pain.

A simple phrase cruelly twisted.

Cutting deeper than a blade.

No blood, but deadly just the same.

And sometimes words are not enough.

“I love you” … not enough.

“You are not alone,” though gently spoken.

Is simply not enough to ease the pain.

Drowned out by those who spit their words of hate.

Damn their taunts; their vicious slanders

Against the gentle souls with no defense

To shake off the vile and ugly blows.

Cast up your shields, though weary from the struggle.

Stand the ground, be true the heart.

To shout the words above the roar,

“I love you!” … “You are not alone!”

Dear Beverly

Miss you, came by to say hello.

           Oh Doll, you remembered me.

Always.

Your boys slaughtered my boys 8 to 2 last night.  Cards lost.   3 1/2 back.

             'Bout time.

Set things in motion yesterday.
We shall see where it leads.
The truth?   Whose truth?

To celebrate your win ... let's turn up the volume with this tune!   Enjoy.

Joan Jett: I Love Rock And Roll

I saw him dancin' there by the record machine
I knew he must a been about seventeen
The beat was goin' strong
Playin' my favorite song
An' I could tell it wouldn't be long
Till he was with me, yeah me
And I could tell it wouldn't be long
Till he was with me, yeah me, singin'

I love rock n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n' roll
So come and take your time and dance with me

Ow!

He smiled so I got up and asked for his name
That don't matter, he said,
'Cause it's all the same

Said can I take you home where we can be alone

An' next we were movin' on
He was with me, yeah me

Next we were movin' on
He was with me, yeah me, singin'

I love rock n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n' roll
So come an' take your time an' dance with me

Ow!

Said can I take you home where we can be alone

Next we were movin' on
He was with me, yeah me,
An we'll be movin' on
An' singin' that same old song
Yeah with me, singin'

I love rock n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n' roll
So come an' take your time an' dance with me

I love rock n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n' roll
So come an' take your time an' dance with

I love rock n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n' roll
So come an' take your time an' dance with

I love rock n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n' roll
So come an' take your time an' dance with

I love rock n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n' roll
So come an' take your time an' dance with me

Dear Beverly

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Just stopped by to say hello.

I miss you … think about you all of the time.

          Mi Amor.   You remembered me.

Always.

Your boys, I'm sorry to say, are toast.
4 1/2 back in the wild card with just eight to play. 

My boys beat them 2 to 1 last night.

           Boo Hoo.   Next year for Dodger Blue.

If it makes you feel any better Judith has been kicking my butt at cribbage the last few evenings, so I know how your boys feel.   

You know it's not about the game.
The winning and the losing.   

Moving the pegs up and down the board.   

It's about the companionship and time together.

I have been so fortunate in my life.

Have a tune for you today ... sort of sad, but it says so much

Tompall and the Glaser Brothers: All That Keeps Ya Goin'

When the princes and the peasants each look back at you the same
When a friend that you had known before can't quite recall your name
When each morning there's a cloudy sky to keep the sun from showin'
Then you know you are your own sometimes that's all that keeps ya goin'

Neath the chimneys and the rooftops of a village safe and sound
No one sees the face nor hears the feet that walk the morning ground
And the stillness of the alleys and the highways keeps a growin'
So you say you are your own and that alone will keep ya goin'

Through the dampness of the dawn now by the road you walk alone
And you think on days when you had laughed or of a love you'd known
But your head is low avoidin' thoughts of times you'll soon be knowin'
When to say you are your own ain't quite enough to keep ya goin'

Dear Beverly

Miss you ... just stopped in to say hello.

            You remembered me.

Always.

Found this picture that your mom took of us in the dining room of her place out in Newbury Park during Feb/Mar of 2009.   You were still recovering from your seizure of Thanksgiving of 2008, but getting stronger every day.   You fought so hard to get back on your feet.

We had a nice lunch with your mom.  It was a nice day.   Should have been more of them.

          Smile.

My boys play your boys tonight ... sorry.

Got a tune for you today ... love how Bonnie Tyler could belt this one out.

http://youtu.be/Af0p3K42NZw


(Turn around) every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round
(Turn around) every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
(Turn around) every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
(Turn around) every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes

(Turn around, bright eyes) Every now and then I fall apart
(Turn around, bright eyes) Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight and I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right 'cause we'll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight, forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do... a total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say... a total eclipse of the heart

(Turn around) bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
(Turn around) bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)
I don't know what to do, I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
A total eclipse of the heart

Dear Beverly

Just stopped by to say hello.

           Hi Doll.   You remembered me.

Always

Your boys rallied for four in the 7th at Cincy to stay three back in the wild card ...

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It’s odd how little things can be so funny.  

Ducks.   Ducks were funny.

When you’d go to a dark place you’d get the “Rubber Ducky” song as your morning wake-up tune.   That always got a reaction.  

“If you don’t like it, then don’t be a little Eeyore, with that little dark cloud hanging over your head.”   Disney got it right with Eeyore … that was you.

With the little wooden ducks the reasoning was, if the “Rubber Ducky” song could get you to open up (just a little), then how about a symbolic one … or two … three … four, every time you went deep there would be a brightly colored wooden duck in the mail (along with some DVDs for Fran).  

I could get them at the Dollar Store, throw one in a box with a little packing so it wouldn’t rattle around and off it would go.   For the longest time it seem to work. 

You couldn’t throw them out, so you would place them all around your room.   They reminded you that someone cared and that someone was willing to listen.   You were not alone; never alone.   You thought you were, but your weren’t.   And besides, you had brightly colored wooden ducks to keep you company.

I wonder what happened to those brightly colored wooden ducks.  When he rooted through your stuff after Fran’s passing he found all of the cards (birthday, Christmas, etc.) that I had sent you, made copies and sent out another one of his “packages” of hate.  

But if he didn’t understand the metaphor of the ducks, then they were just brightly colored wooden ducks.   In the end the joke was on him.   They are probably in a box somewhere, or at the Goodwill … tossed out maybe. 

Doesn’t matter, they were brightly colored wooden ducks that served their purpose.

Have a tune for you today ... it so reminds me of you.

http://youtu.be/Vc3V9U7_IQg 

She's the kind who says goodbye to houses
When she's leaving them for good
Thinks about the beauty of the forest
When she burns a piece of wood
Says hello to strangers
And every hungry stray weighs on her mind
Sees good in everybody
That few of us would take the time to find
She says every act of kindness
Is a little bit of love we leave behind

She's the kind who lays awake and worries
When the headline tensions grow
Thinks about the unborn generations
And a time she'll never know
Seems it's always after midnight
When we talk it out and slowly both unwind
She says every act of kindness
Is a little bit of love we leave behind

Every summer sun
That has passed our way
Serves to light every day
And in time will stay
Like a golden ghost in our mind
So when we have gone
What we do lives on
You know every act of kindness
Is a little bit of love we leave behind

Dear Beverly

You've been on my mind and in my heart.

Just stopped in to say hello.

           Mi Amor.   You remembered me.

Always.

It comes in waves; melancholy waves.   Sadness and sorrow.
I cannot help but feel that I could have done more.

A tune for today ... enjoy, you are indeed an "L.A. lady" ... dressed in all of that Dodger Blue.

Link:   Elton John: Tiny Dancer

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand

Jesus freaks out in the street
Handing tickets out for God
Turning back she just laughs
The boulevard is not that bad

Piano man he makes his stand
In the auditorium
Looking on she sings the songs
The words she knows the tune she hums

But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can hear me
When I say softly slowly

Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
you had a busy day today

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand

Dear Beverly

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Just stopped by to say hello.

             Mi Amor.  You remembered me.

Always.

Rockin’ good news.  Cubs rallied for two in the bottom of the ninth against the Cards and won it in the 11^th.   A few hours later your boy Matt Kemp hit a two-out, two-strike single in the 10^th at Cincinnati to beat the Reds.   All good … two back in the Wild Card.

           Yippee!

On Dec. 8, 2009, after taking Fran to the doctor (it was a very “bad news day”) you wrote me this:

“Besides my mom, you are mi rock, mi amor, you have never said a mean thing to me, nor did a mean thing to me, all you have ever done is love me and help and I simply adore you for that and everything you have ever done for me.”

I re-read it (along with the connecting emails that followed over the next few days) again this morning.   I recalled “never said a mean thing to me” and “nor did a mean thing to me” … I found that phrasing odd then and, now, in light of things that have happened, even more so.   “Mean” has stuck in my mind.

You were blessed with the most beautiful smile in the world.  There was a loving way about you; a kindness; a gentle nature.  Who could ever be “mean” to you?   How odd a way to express yourself. 

Meanness is something I’ll have to get my head around.   It’s not in me, so it is difficult to understand.   Should have pursued that … talked more about it.   There is more in that sentence than meets the eye.   Damn it.  

Should have been on the phone during this period … by the 16^th Fran was gone and your safe haven from the storm went with her.   Did you sense the storm coming?

Got a tune for you today ... enjoy.

http://youtu.be/xEkIou3WFnM

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When you're down and troubled and you need a helping hand
and nothing, whoa, nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there to brighten up even your darkest nights.

You just call out my name, and you know where ever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call and I'll be there, yeah, yeah,
you've got a friend.

If the sky above you should turn dark and full of clouds
and that old north wind should begin to blow,
keep your head together and call my name out loud.
Soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name, and you know where ever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call and I'll be there.

Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend? People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you. Well, they'll take your soul if you let them,
oh yeah, but don't you let them.

You just call out my name, and you know where ever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call, Lord, I'll be there, yeah, yeah,
you've got a friend. You've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend. Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
Oh, yeah, yeah, you've got a friend.

Dear Beverly

Just stopped by to say hello.   "Hello."

             Hi Doll!   You remembered me.

Always.

You boys lost; Cards won.   Three back in the wild card.   Magic number is ten.

Sorry.

            Pfffffffftttttttt.    My boys are a disappointment.

Had dinner with Judith last night and we talked about you.   It was really nice.

I have a tune for you today ... a bit different.   Enjoy.

I love this part and the sentiment: "After the smoke is blown away
I will be here for you."   You are not alone; you were never really alone. 

http://youtu.be/5C5tCnVjvVo

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After the fire is over
After the ashes cool
After the smoke is blown away
I will be here for you

After the stillness finds you
After the winds of change
All that is good and true between us
This will remain the same

Slowly, slowly
We turn the pages of life
Growing, knowing
It comes at quite a price

After the fire is over
After the ashes cool
After the smoke is blown away
I will be here for you

After your time of wondering
Along this lonely road
There will be many voices calling
Mine will say welcome home

Slowly, slowly
We turn the pages of life
Growing, knowing
It comes at quite a price

After the fire is over
After the ash is cool
After the smoke is blown away
I will be here for you
I will be here for you

Dear Beverly

You've been on my mind and in my heart.

Just stopped by to say hello.

             (Smile) You remembered me.

Always

Your boys won the second game of the double-header in D.C. yesterday, but St. Louis once again took advantage of an awful Houston team.   Two back in the wild card.   My boys were eliminated from the West last night.

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You said to me that you made "a terrible mistake."  

I've thought about that moment when peace came to us.   It was, in many ways, a gift; a blessing.

In my heart it wasn't ever about forgiveness, I didn't respond to you in that way.   That would have been so wrong and it was never in my heart.   Instead, I stopped you and said no, you made no mistakes, you have three beautiful children ... they are not mistakes.

You looked at me ... I could see it in your eyes as you thought about those words.   And then the most amazing smile came upon your face and you said simply, "You're right."    Peace was in our hearts in that moment.   

If you put conditions upon love, can you truly open your heart to someone?   The word "forgive" was never spoken, that would have been a condition and my heart would have remained closed.

Six beautiful human beings, with hopes and dreams, walk with us today ... you made no mistakes.

And the love I have for my beautiful wife has grown and grown throughout the years that separated the two of us ... you made no mistakes.

Through you I learned to love without conditions; without bargains ... Oh sweet Beverly, you made no mistakes.

I'll leave you with a tune ... I love this artist, he wrote so many wonderful "tunes" (I love how you'd call them "tunes" instead of songs or music).   He too has demons ... taking it one day at a time.

http://youtu.be/xbQ7mZRnX3g

If I knew the way I'd go back home
But the countryside has changed so much
I'd surely end up lost
Half remembering names and faces
So far in the past
On the other side of bridges that were burned once they were crossed

Tell me where
Where does a fool go
When there's none left to listen
To a story without meaning
That nobody wants to hear
Tell me where
Where does a fool go
When he knows there's something missing
Tell me where
Where do I go from here
Where do I go from here

To get back home
Where my childhood dreams and wishes still out number my regrets
Get back to a place where I can figure on the odds
Have a fighting chance to lose the blues
And win my share of bets

Tell me where
Where does a fool go
When there's none left to listen
To a story without meaning
That nobody wants to hear
Tell me where
Where does a fool go
When he knows there's something missing
Tell me where
Where do I go from here
Where do I go from here

Dear Beverly

Just stopped in to say hello.

            Hi Doll.   You remembered me.

Always

Your boys got rained out in D.C. ... St. Louis beat up on Houston at home, so it's one and half back in the wild card.

            Pfffffffffttttttttttt.

Got a tune for you today ... one of your favorites from Boz Scaggs.   Enjoy.

Outside the rain begins
And it may never end
So cry no more, on the shore a dream
Will take us out to sea
Forevermore, forevermore

Close your eyes and dream[?]
And you can be with me
'Neath the waves, through the cave of hours
Long forgotten now
We're all alone, we're all alone

Close the window, come alight
And it will be all right
No need to bother now
Let it out, let it all begin
Learn how to pretend

Once a story's told
It can't help but grow old
Roses do, lovers too, so cast
Your seasons to the wind
And hold me dear, oh, hold me dear

Close the window, come alight
And it will be all right
No need to bother now,
Let it out, let it all begin
All's forgotten now
We're all alone, all alone

Close the window, come alight
And it will be all right
No need to bother now,
Let it out, let it all begin
Owe it to the wind, my love
Oh, hold me dear

All's forgotten now, my love,
We're all alone, we're all alone

Dear Beverly

Just stopped in to say hello.

You are always on my mind and in my heart.

              Mi Amor, you remembered me.

Always.

Beverly Ann Kegley

When this album broke you went crazy listening to it over and over again.  
"Hey Beverly," I would say, "can we have a little Led Zeppelin, please."

And you say, "No, no, no, no, no, David Bowie is so amazing.
This for awhile and then we can take that stairway to heaven."

 Have a tune for you this morning from THAT album.

"Oh no love! you're not alone
No matter what or who you've been
No matter when or where you've seen"

Says it all, doesn't it?

             Thanks Doll.   Interesting Choice.

David Bowie: Rock n Roll Suicide

Time takes a cigarette, puts it in your mouth
You pull on your finger, then another finger, then your cigarette
The wall-to-wall is calling, it lingers, then you forget
Ohhh how how how, you're a rock n roll suicide

You're too old to lose it, too young to choose it
And the clocks waits so patiently on your song
You walk past a cafe but you don't eat when youve lived too long
Oh, no, no, no, you're a rock n roll suicide

Chev brakes are snarling as you stumble across the road
But the day breaks instead so you hurry home
Don't let the sun blast your shadow
Don't let the milk float ride your mind
You're so natural - religiously unkind

Oh no love! you're not alone
You're watching yourself but you're too unfair
You got your head all tangled up but if I could only
Make you care
Oh no love! you're not alone
No matter what or who you've been
No matter when or where you've seen
All the knives seem to lacerate your brain
I've had my share, I'll help you with the pain
You're not alone

Just turn on with me and you're not alone
Lets turn on with me and you're not alone (wonderful)
Lets turn on and be not alone (wonderful)
Gimme your hands cause you're wonderful (wonderful)
Gimme your hands cause you're wonderful (wonderful)
Oh gimme your hands.

Dear Beverly

Just stopped in to tell you how amazing you are.

               Thanks Doll, you remembered me.

Always.

Beverly Ann Kegley Carvajal

Your boys had their shot yesterday and blew it.  Off today.

The schedule maker didn't do you any favors, you are on the road against the best team in baseball (Washington), while the Cards (a game up in the wild card) play the worst team in baseball (Houston).   Hang in there, could be a rocky three day stretch.

              Flip!

Today I thought I would share with you (once again) one of my favorite poems.   I'll have a tune tomorrow.

I am trying so very hard to live by this line,  "don't give way to hating,"

It is so incredibly difficult not to hate someone who couldn't see and celebrate your beauty; your heart; your soul.

If ... by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

Dear Beverly

Just stopped by to say hello.

             Hi Doll, you remembered me!

Always.

You are always on my mind and in my heart.

             Smile.

Good news, your boys beat the Cards and are now tied for the wild card!   Two in the bottom of the ninth ... one to tie, one to win.

             Bigger Smile.

Why could he have not stopped each day to marvel at the treasure that he had?

I celebrated your happiness above all else.
My wife.  My lover.  My friend.

Because of you, I try each day to celebrate the treasure that I have.
See too is my wife.  My lover.   And most of all my friend.

I learned so much from you.   Your kindness.
The sweet way about you.

You remain, in my heart,
that kind and gentle soul
with such a beautiful smile.
You are such a blessing.

You were able to touch my heart and let me open my heart to others.
Thank you so much for your love and your kindness ... I love you.   

Got a tune for you today ... The group Bread could have written and performed this for you and I.
I only wish in my heart that all of it were true,
especially, "All the sweet things that she can find  All the sweet things they can find."

http://youtu.be/24IfD-0VUu4

I found her diary underneath a tree.
And started reading about me
The words she's written took me by surprise
You'd never read them in her eyes.
They said that she had found the love she waited for.
Wouldn't you know it, she wouldn't show it.

When she confronted with the writing there,
Simply pretended not to care.
I passed it off as just in keeping with
Her total disconcerting air
And though she tried to hide
The love that she denied,
Wouldn't you know it, she wouldn't show it.

And as I go through my life, I will give to her my wife
All the sweet things that I can find.

I found her diary underneath a tree.
And started reading about me.
The words began stick and tears to flow.
Her meaning now was clear to see.
The love she'd waited for was someone else not me
Wouldn't you know it, she wouldn't show it.

And as I go through my life, I will wish for her his wife
All the sweet things that she can find
All the sweet things they can find

Dear Beverly

Good morning, just stopped by to say hello.

              Mi Amor, you remembered me.

Always.

Good news, your boys beat the Cards ... just one back in the wild card.

           'bout time!!!

Tune for you today ... a sad one, but beautiful.   I know you liked this one.

-->

http://youtu.be/yWoTYJqZkpI

Eponine:

And now I'm all alone again nowhere to turn, no one to go to

without a home without a friend without a face to say hello to

And now the night is near

Now I can make believe he's here

Sometimes I walk alone at night

When everybody else is sleeping

I think of him and then I'm happy

With the company I'm keeping

The city goes to bed

And I can live inside my head

On my own

Pretending he's beside me

All alone

I walk with him till morning

Without him

I feel his arms around me

And when I lose my way I close my eyes

And he has found me

In the rain the pavement shines like silver

All the lights are misty in the river

In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight

And all I see is him and me forever and forever

And I know it's only in my mind

That I'm talking to myself and not to him

And although I know that he is blind

Still I say, there's a way for us

I love him

But when the night is over

He is gone

The river's just a river

Without him

The world around me changes

The trees are bare and everywhere

The streets are full of strangers

I love him

But every day I'm learning

All my life

I've only been pretending

Without me

His world would go on turning

A world that's full of happiness

That I have never known

I love him

I love him

I love him

But only on my own

Dear Beverly

Just stopped in to say hello.

           Thanks Doll. You remembered me. 

Always.

            Smile.

Your boys have a four-game series against the Cards ... the first one didn't go well.   Three more, how about winning them!!!!

Got a tune for you today.    Enjoy,

http://youtu.be/xT51L-R71Wk

-->

Down, down in Hollywood Town

the lost and found come to find their way,

walkin' outside, feelings they hide,

putting their pride through well known paces

Steppin' on stars and shining on cars passin' by,

Their heads are high

but their hearts are lowdown draggin'

as they go reachin' out to those other faces.

Down, down in Hollywood Town

the good time sounds are heard all day but

the nighttime's commin', you're on your own,

lookin' for a place someone to share with. 

Waiting in queues to hear the blues,

to find a way from the emptiness,

to be found inside from those who try,

to climb to the image of the TV good guy.

Stranger I know you,

we learned to walk together, lovers,
wondering whether we really are. 

I'd like to show you images of sister brother

standing off from one another but not very far.

Down, down in Hollywood Town,

the lost and found come to find their way,

walkin' outside, feelings they hide,

putting their pride through well known paces. 

Steppin' on stars and shining on cars passing by,

Their heads are high

but their hearts are lowdown, draggin'

as they go, reachin' out to those other faces.

          

Dear Beverly

Just stopped by to say hello.

             Hi Doll, you remembered me.

Always.

Hey girl my boys are working real hard to keep you in the wild card race, swept the Cards.
Giants won ... your boys lost another close one.   They need some TLC from you.

         Flip!

A tune for you today ... remember, you are loved; you are not alone.

http://youtu.be/nMQuawT3JcU

Hear me
Hear me

You gotta be out there
You gotta be somewhere
Wherever you are
I'm waiting
'Cause there are these nights when
I sing myself to sleep
And I'm hopin' my dreams
Bring you close to me
Are you listening?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me
Hear me

Hear me
Can you hear me?
Hear me

I used to be scared of
Letting someone in
But it gets so lonely
Being on my own
No one to talk to
And no one to hold me
I'm not always strong
Oh, I need you here
Are you listening?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me

I'm restless and wild
I fall, but I try
I need someone to understand
Can you hear me?
I'm lost in my thoughts
And baby I've fought
For all that I've got
Can you hear me?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me
Hear me
Hear me
Hear me
Can you hear me?
Hear me
Hear me
Hear me
Can you hear me?
Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Hear me
Hear me
Hear me

Dear Beverly

Just dropped by to say hello.

            Mi Amor, you remembered me.

Always.

Your boys lost last night to the D'Backs 1 - zip on an unearned run.
Nasty Giants won a slugfest in Colorado ... six back.
Good news, my boys beat the Cardinals to keep you one back in the wild card.

Tune today ... a fun one from Dustin Lynch.
You maybe hearing it for the first time ... Enjoy.

              Thanks Doll.   Smile.

http://youtu.be/1F1GrYeIMco 

There's a want and there's a need
There's a history between
Girls like her and guys like me
Cowboys and angels
I've got boots and she's got wings
I'm hell on wheels and she's heavenly
I'd die for her and she lives for me
Cowboys and angels

Chorus
We ride side by side
A cloud of dust, a ray of light
My touch is her temptation
Her kiss is my salvation
She's sweet, I'm wild, we're dangerous
Cowboys and angels

I'm not sure why her path crossed mine
Accident or grand design
Maybe God just kinda likes
Cowboys and angels

Chorus
We ride side by side
A cloud of dust, a ray of light
My touch is her temptation
Her kiss is my salvation
She's sweet, I'm wild, we're dangerous
Cowboys and angels

There's a want and there's a need
There's a history between
Girls like you and guys like me
Cowboys and angels

Dear Beverly

Just dropped by to say hello.

             Mi Amor. You remembered me. 

Always.

Your boys had the day off.  Giants lost.  My boys beat St. Louis.
Your boys are five back of the nasty Giants and now just one back of St. Louis for the wild card.

             Smile.

Been thinking about you and I've been thinking about knowing the truth.
Thoughts of you matter, but I'm not so sure if the truth means that much.

Have a tune for you today ... enjoy.

"If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is."

-->

Daylight
See the dew on the sunflower
And a rose that is fading
Roses whither away
Like the sunflower
I yearn to turn my face to the dawn
I am waiting for the day . . .

Midnight
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan

Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again

Every streetlamp
Seems to beat a fatalistic warning
Someone mutters
And the streetlamp gutters
And soon it will be morning

Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I musn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin

Burnt out ends of smoky days
The stale cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning

Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is

Look
A new day has begun

Dear Beverly

Just stopped by to say hello.

            You remembered me.

Always

Four - Zip for your boys, sorry.    Start focusing on the wild card.

           Flip!

-->

Know that you are loved.

You are not alone.

These are the words I would write to you in emails.

These are words that I would say to you on the phone.

Beverly, you are loved.

You are not alone.

Your mother loved you without condition.

Good Lord, that woman had the patience of a saint.

Or, as Emerson put it, She “adopt(ed) the pace of Nature,

Her Secret is Patience.  

At times she thought: “This too shall pass.”

With you, those times … I’m sure she is smiling.

Know that you are loved.

You are not alone.

Dear Beverly

How are you today?

             You remembered me.    Smile.

Always.

Good news, one in eighth to tie ... and a one in the ninth to win it.

             Hooray!

From 

-->The Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyam
The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.

Dear Beverly

Just stopped by to say hello.

            Mi Amor.   You remembered me.

Always.

Sorry about your boys ... Nasty Giants now 5 1/2 up.   Pressure is on!

           Pfffffffftttttttttt.


Got a tune for you ... enjoy.

           Thanks Doll.

http://youtu.be/Nm7eIM8pXKg 

Once I had a heart cold as ice
Love to me was only for fun
I'd make a mark for each broken heart
Like notches on the butt of a gun

Once I had a trick up my sleeve
A reputation all over town
I was heartless and cold, wherever I'd go
I shot down every young girl I found

Yes I used to be a moonlight bandit
I used to be a heartbreak kid
Then I met you and the next thing I knew
There I was, oh, shot full of love

Who'd have thought that someone like you
Could take a desperado like me
But , oh, here I am, I'm as meek as a lamb
With my bleeding heart there at your feet

Yes I used to be a moonlight bandit
I used to be a heartbreak kid
Then I met you and the next thing I knew
There I was, oh, shot full of love

Yes I used to be a moonlight bandit
I used to be a heartbreak kid
Then I met you and the next thing I knew
There I was, oh, shot full of love

I used to be a moonlight bandit
I used to be a heartbreak kid
Then I met you and the next thing I knew
There I was, oh, shot full of love

Dear Beverly

How are you today?

            Mi Amor.   You remembered me.

Always

Got a tune for you today.

Love this line: "Magic of the melancholy tear in your eye."

              Smile. 

Tom Waits: Lookin' For The Heart Of Saturday Night

Well you gassed her up
Behind the wheel
With your arm around your sweet one
In your Oldsmobile
Barrelin' down the boulevard
You're looking for the heart of Saturday night

And you got paid on Friday
And your pockets are jinglin'
And you see the lights
You get all tinglin' cause you're cruisin' with a 6
And you're looking for the heart of Saturday night

Then you comb your hair
Shave your face
Tryin' to wipe out ev'ry trace
All the other days
In the week you know that this'll be the Saturday
You're reachin' your peak

Stoppin' on the red
You're goin' on the green
'Cause tonight'll be like nothin'
You've ever seen
And you're barrelin' down the boulevard
Lookin' for the heart of Saturday night

Tell me is the crack of the poolballs, neon buzzin?
Telephone's ringin'; it's your second cousin
Is it the barmaid that's smilin' from the corner of her eye?
Magic of the melancholy tear in your eye.

Makes it kind of quiver down in the core
'Cause you're dreamin' of them Saturdays that came before
And now you're stumblin'
You're stumblin' onto the heart of Saturday night

Well you gassed her up
And you're behind the wheel
With your arm around your sweet one
In your Oldsmobile
Barrellin' down the boulevard,
You're lookin' for the heart of Saturday night

Is the crack of the poolballs, neon buzzin?
Telephone's ringin'; it's your second cousin
And the barmaid is smilin' from the corner of her eye
Magic of the melancholy tear in your eye.

Makes it kind of special down in the core
And you're dreamin' of them Saturdays that came before
It's found you stumblin'
Stumblin' onto the heart of Saturday night
And you're stumblin'
Stumblin onto the heart of Saturday night