Dear Beverly

Miss you, came by to say hello.

           Oh Doll, you remembered me.

Always.

Your boys slaughtered my boys 8 to 2 last night.  Cards lost.   3 1/2 back.

             'Bout time.

Set things in motion yesterday.
We shall see where it leads.
The truth?   Whose truth?

To celebrate your win ... let's turn up the volume with this tune!   Enjoy.

Joan Jett: I Love Rock And Roll

I saw him dancin' there by the record machine
I knew he must a been about seventeen
The beat was goin' strong
Playin' my favorite song
An' I could tell it wouldn't be long
Till he was with me, yeah me
And I could tell it wouldn't be long
Till he was with me, yeah me, singin'

I love rock n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n' roll
So come and take your time and dance with me

Ow!

He smiled so I got up and asked for his name
That don't matter, he said,
'Cause it's all the same

Said can I take you home where we can be alone

An' next we were movin' on
He was with me, yeah me

Next we were movin' on
He was with me, yeah me, singin'

I love rock n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n' roll
So come an' take your time an' dance with me

Ow!

Said can I take you home where we can be alone

Next we were movin' on
He was with me, yeah me,
An we'll be movin' on
An' singin' that same old song
Yeah with me, singin'

I love rock n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n' roll
So come an' take your time an' dance with me

I love rock n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n' roll
So come an' take your time an' dance with

I love rock n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n' roll
So come an' take your time an' dance with

I love rock n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n' roll
So come an' take your time an' dance with

I love rock n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n' roll
So come an' take your time an' dance with me

Dear Beverly

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Just stopped by to say hello.

I miss you … think about you all of the time.

          Mi Amor.   You remembered me.

Always.

Your boys, I'm sorry to say, are toast.
4 1/2 back in the wild card with just eight to play. 

My boys beat them 2 to 1 last night.

           Boo Hoo.   Next year for Dodger Blue.

If it makes you feel any better Judith has been kicking my butt at cribbage the last few evenings, so I know how your boys feel.   

You know it's not about the game.
The winning and the losing.   

Moving the pegs up and down the board.   

It's about the companionship and time together.

I have been so fortunate in my life.

Have a tune for you today ... sort of sad, but it says so much

Tompall and the Glaser Brothers: All That Keeps Ya Goin'

When the princes and the peasants each look back at you the same
When a friend that you had known before can't quite recall your name
When each morning there's a cloudy sky to keep the sun from showin'
Then you know you are your own sometimes that's all that keeps ya goin'

Neath the chimneys and the rooftops of a village safe and sound
No one sees the face nor hears the feet that walk the morning ground
And the stillness of the alleys and the highways keeps a growin'
So you say you are your own and that alone will keep ya goin'

Through the dampness of the dawn now by the road you walk alone
And you think on days when you had laughed or of a love you'd known
But your head is low avoidin' thoughts of times you'll soon be knowin'
When to say you are your own ain't quite enough to keep ya goin'

Dear Beverly

Miss you ... just stopped in to say hello.

            You remembered me.

Always.

Found this picture that your mom took of us in the dining room of her place out in Newbury Park during Feb/Mar of 2009.   You were still recovering from your seizure of Thanksgiving of 2008, but getting stronger every day.   You fought so hard to get back on your feet.

We had a nice lunch with your mom.  It was a nice day.   Should have been more of them.

          Smile.

My boys play your boys tonight ... sorry.

Got a tune for you today ... love how Bonnie Tyler could belt this one out.

http://youtu.be/Af0p3K42NZw


(Turn around) every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round
(Turn around) every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
(Turn around) every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
(Turn around) every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes

(Turn around, bright eyes) Every now and then I fall apart
(Turn around, bright eyes) Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight and I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right 'cause we'll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight, forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do... a total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say... a total eclipse of the heart

(Turn around) bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
(Turn around) bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)
I don't know what to do, I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
A total eclipse of the heart

Dear Beverly

Just stopped by to say hello.

           Hi Doll.   You remembered me.

Always

Your boys rallied for four in the 7th at Cincy to stay three back in the wild card ...

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It’s odd how little things can be so funny.  

Ducks.   Ducks were funny.

When you’d go to a dark place you’d get the “Rubber Ducky” song as your morning wake-up tune.   That always got a reaction.  

“If you don’t like it, then don’t be a little Eeyore, with that little dark cloud hanging over your head.”   Disney got it right with Eeyore … that was you.

With the little wooden ducks the reasoning was, if the “Rubber Ducky” song could get you to open up (just a little), then how about a symbolic one … or two … three … four, every time you went deep there would be a brightly colored wooden duck in the mail (along with some DVDs for Fran).  

I could get them at the Dollar Store, throw one in a box with a little packing so it wouldn’t rattle around and off it would go.   For the longest time it seem to work. 

You couldn’t throw them out, so you would place them all around your room.   They reminded you that someone cared and that someone was willing to listen.   You were not alone; never alone.   You thought you were, but your weren’t.   And besides, you had brightly colored wooden ducks to keep you company.

I wonder what happened to those brightly colored wooden ducks.  When he rooted through your stuff after Fran’s passing he found all of the cards (birthday, Christmas, etc.) that I had sent you, made copies and sent out another one of his “packages” of hate.  

But if he didn’t understand the metaphor of the ducks, then they were just brightly colored wooden ducks.   In the end the joke was on him.   They are probably in a box somewhere, or at the Goodwill … tossed out maybe. 

Doesn’t matter, they were brightly colored wooden ducks that served their purpose.

Have a tune for you today ... it so reminds me of you.

http://youtu.be/Vc3V9U7_IQg 

She's the kind who says goodbye to houses
When she's leaving them for good
Thinks about the beauty of the forest
When she burns a piece of wood
Says hello to strangers
And every hungry stray weighs on her mind
Sees good in everybody
That few of us would take the time to find
She says every act of kindness
Is a little bit of love we leave behind

She's the kind who lays awake and worries
When the headline tensions grow
Thinks about the unborn generations
And a time she'll never know
Seems it's always after midnight
When we talk it out and slowly both unwind
She says every act of kindness
Is a little bit of love we leave behind

Every summer sun
That has passed our way
Serves to light every day
And in time will stay
Like a golden ghost in our mind
So when we have gone
What we do lives on
You know every act of kindness
Is a little bit of love we leave behind

Dear Beverly

You've been on my mind and in my heart.

Just stopped in to say hello.

           Mi Amor.   You remembered me.

Always.

It comes in waves; melancholy waves.   Sadness and sorrow.
I cannot help but feel that I could have done more.

A tune for today ... enjoy, you are indeed an "L.A. lady" ... dressed in all of that Dodger Blue.

Link:   Elton John: Tiny Dancer

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand

Jesus freaks out in the street
Handing tickets out for God
Turning back she just laughs
The boulevard is not that bad

Piano man he makes his stand
In the auditorium
Looking on she sings the songs
The words she knows the tune she hums

But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can hear me
When I say softly slowly

Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
you had a busy day today

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand

Dear Beverly

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Just stopped by to say hello.

             Mi Amor.  You remembered me.

Always.

Rockin’ good news.  Cubs rallied for two in the bottom of the ninth against the Cards and won it in the 11^th.   A few hours later your boy Matt Kemp hit a two-out, two-strike single in the 10^th at Cincinnati to beat the Reds.   All good … two back in the Wild Card.

           Yippee!

On Dec. 8, 2009, after taking Fran to the doctor (it was a very “bad news day”) you wrote me this:

“Besides my mom, you are mi rock, mi amor, you have never said a mean thing to me, nor did a mean thing to me, all you have ever done is love me and help and I simply adore you for that and everything you have ever done for me.”

I re-read it (along with the connecting emails that followed over the next few days) again this morning.   I recalled “never said a mean thing to me” and “nor did a mean thing to me” … I found that phrasing odd then and, now, in light of things that have happened, even more so.   “Mean” has stuck in my mind.

You were blessed with the most beautiful smile in the world.  There was a loving way about you; a kindness; a gentle nature.  Who could ever be “mean” to you?   How odd a way to express yourself. 

Meanness is something I’ll have to get my head around.   It’s not in me, so it is difficult to understand.   Should have pursued that … talked more about it.   There is more in that sentence than meets the eye.   Damn it.  

Should have been on the phone during this period … by the 16^th Fran was gone and your safe haven from the storm went with her.   Did you sense the storm coming?

Got a tune for you today ... enjoy.

http://youtu.be/xEkIou3WFnM

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When you're down and troubled and you need a helping hand
and nothing, whoa, nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there to brighten up even your darkest nights.

You just call out my name, and you know where ever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call and I'll be there, yeah, yeah,
you've got a friend.

If the sky above you should turn dark and full of clouds
and that old north wind should begin to blow,
keep your head together and call my name out loud.
Soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name, and you know where ever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call and I'll be there.

Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend? People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you. Well, they'll take your soul if you let them,
oh yeah, but don't you let them.

You just call out my name, and you know where ever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call, Lord, I'll be there, yeah, yeah,
you've got a friend. You've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend. Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
Oh, yeah, yeah, you've got a friend.

Dear Beverly

Just stopped by to say hello.   "Hello."

             Hi Doll!   You remembered me.

Always.

You boys lost; Cards won.   Three back in the wild card.   Magic number is ten.

Sorry.

            Pfffffffftttttttt.    My boys are a disappointment.

Had dinner with Judith last night and we talked about you.   It was really nice.

I have a tune for you today ... a bit different.   Enjoy.

I love this part and the sentiment: "After the smoke is blown away
I will be here for you."   You are not alone; you were never really alone. 

http://youtu.be/5C5tCnVjvVo

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After the fire is over
After the ashes cool
After the smoke is blown away
I will be here for you

After the stillness finds you
After the winds of change
All that is good and true between us
This will remain the same

Slowly, slowly
We turn the pages of life
Growing, knowing
It comes at quite a price

After the fire is over
After the ashes cool
After the smoke is blown away
I will be here for you

After your time of wondering
Along this lonely road
There will be many voices calling
Mine will say welcome home

Slowly, slowly
We turn the pages of life
Growing, knowing
It comes at quite a price

After the fire is over
After the ash is cool
After the smoke is blown away
I will be here for you
I will be here for you