Dear Beverly

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Just stopped in to say that you are in my heart throughout each day.

       You remembered me.

Always.

Still having trouble with understanding the insanity of it all.

I get the part about how you finally took control of your life.

I get that part.   I don’t like it, but I get it.

I don’t like where it took you.

I feel that I could have done so much more.

What I don’t get is the insanity.

What would you say about an ex-husband who surreptitiously monitors the phone bills of his divorced ex-wife?

Would that be a stalker?

By all accounts it was a nasty divorce that included:

Business bankruptcy

Personal bankruptcy.

The sale and division of what property remained.

A child with another woman.

Business lawsuits with partners in another state.

What if the same ex-husband then used those phone bills to try to intimate others?

Would that be a sociopath? 

I’m not a psychiatrist, so I’d only be guessing, but that sort of behavior seems sociopathic in nature to me. 

It is certainly not normal behavior by any standard.

What if that same ex-husband then made copies of those phone bills, highlighted certain calls made by his ex-wife in yellow marker and then hand-delivered those same phone records clandestinely with a hand written note that begins, “I appreciate of (sic) your trying to convince me that it was only catching up on old times.” 

He was referring to a phone conversation where a certain somebody — not me, I had my turn — drilled him a new ass hole for being a liar (pretending to be a dead man) and a stalker.  

He then finished the note by saying “Considering I felt that (names omitted) were back together.   Thanks for trying anyway.”   And then signed it “Your Friend.”

We called this — and the ones that followed — packages of hate.

Hmmmm?   How does that work, “back together?”  The ex-wife living under the protection of her mother in Newbury Park and that ex-husband living elsewhere … miles and miles away from Newbury Park.   How is that “back together?”  

A certain ex-husband not welcome — ever — into the ex-wife’s mother’s home. 

How is that “back together?”

That seems delusional, but then I’m not a psychiatrist.

I do know one thing, by benefit of what unfolded over the next four years, if this particular ex-husband would have been confronted on the front porch of his home on the same day that he delivered his first vile message of hate with a simple question, “what is your problem?,” then perhaps the final — very definitive — outcome might have been avoided.

We will never know.  

But people need to stand up to stalkers and bullies. 

They thrive when well-meaning people just hope and pray that they will get tired and go away. 

They never do.  

Seven packages of hate — hand delivered — over three years … five to one person (who finally called the sheriff), one to a relative (at her work) and one to a co-worker (at her work).  

Seven packages of hate, because he would not stop until, sadly, you took control of your life.

It has been over five months now and not a peep out of that ex-husband.

A tune for you today ... someday never came.

Taylor Swift: Mean

You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me
You have knocked me off my feet again
Got me feeling like I'm nothing
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when I'm wounded
You picking on the weaker man

You can take me down with just one single blow
But you don't know, what you don't know...

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides
And your wildfire lies and your humiliation
You have pointed out my flaws again
As if I don't already see them
I walk with my head down
Trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again

I bet you got pushed around
Somebody made you cold
But the cycle ends right now
'Cause you can't lead me down that road
And you don't know, what you don't know...

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar
Talking over a football game
With that same big loud opinion
But nobody's listening
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing
But all you are is mean

All you are is mean
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

But someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean, yeah
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so?..

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city (Why you gotta be so?..)
And all you're ever gonna be is mean (Why you gotta be so?..)
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me (Why you gotta be so?..)
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean? 

Dear Beverly

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You’ve been on my mind and in my heart, so I just stopped by to say hello.

        Mi Amor, you remembered me.

Always.

Hoping for a letter today.

Wondering how goes it with someone you loved with all of your heart.

Have a tune of a different stripe for you today … a fun one, enjoy.

Jimmy Buffet: Changes in Latitudes

I took off for a weekend last month
Just to try and recall the whole year
All of the faces and all of the places
Wonderin’ where they all disappeared
I didn't ponder the question too long
I was hungry and went out for a bite
Ran into a chum with a bottle of rum
And we wound up drinkin’ all night

Its these changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Nothing remains quite the same
With all of our running and all of our cunning
If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane

Reading departure signs in some big airport
Reminds me of the places I’ve been
Visions of good times that brought so much pleasure
Makes me want to go back again
If it suddenly ended tomorrow
I could somehow adjust to the fall
Good times and riches and son of a bitches
I’ve seen more than I can recall

These changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Nothing remains quite the same
Through all of the islands and all of the highlands
If we couldnt laugh we would all go insane

I think about Paris when I’m high on red wine
I wish I could jump on a plane
So many nights I just dream of the ocean
God I wish I was sailin’ again
Oh, yesterdays over my shoulder
So I can't look back for too long
There's just too much to see waiting in front of me
And I know that I just can't go wrong

With these changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Nothing remains quite the same
With all of my running and all of my cunning
If I couldn’t laugh I just would go insane
If we couldn’t laugh we just would go insane
If we weren’t all crazy we would go insane

Dear Beverly

Just stopped by to say hello.

         Oh Doll, you remembered me.

Always.

Sunny day.
Cool nights.
Autumn in Southern California.

Have a tune for you today ... a little country for you, enjoy.

Kelly Clarkson: Don't Rush 

Let's wake up in the afternoon

Pretend that we got nothing to do
No we don't have to go by any agenda
We can make up our own rules
I see the way you're looking at me
Baby know I'm feeling it too
We can just light up every candle
Move from room to room

Stopping every minute just because you're in it
Wishing everyday was Sunday, you're right next to me
It's how it's supposed to be
Hanging on every touch
Baby don't rush, no no
Baby don't rush

Throw the map out of the window
Taking the long way around
To a secret place where no one could find us
A little place we can call our own
Come over here and take a picture
Something we can hang on to
We can look back and try to remember
All the crazy things we gonna do

Stopping every minute just because you're in it
Wishing everyday was Sunday, you're right next to me
It's how it's supposed to be
Just hanging on every touch
Baby don't rush
Baby don't rush

Stopping every minute just because you're in it
Stopping every minute just because you're in it
Stopping every minute

Stopping every minute just because you're in it
Wishing everyday was Sunday, you're right next to me
It's how it's supposed to be

Stopping every minute just because you're in it
Wishing everyday was Sunday, you're right next to me
It's how it's supposed to be (supposed to be)
Just hanging on every touch
Baby don't rush no no
Baby don't rush (Baby don't rush)
Baby don't rush

Dear Beverly

Just stopped in to say hello.

            You remembered me.

Always.

Back in the safety of your mother's home in January of 2009.
That sly look ... come on, smile.
Each day you got stronger.

Have a tune for you today ... enjoy.

Ben E. King: Stand by Me

When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we'll see
No I won't be afraid
Oh, I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

So darling, darling
Stand by me, oh stand by me
Oh stand, stand by me
Stand by me

If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
All the mountains should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry
No, I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

And darling, darling
Stand by me, oh stand by me
Oh stand now, stand by me
Stand by me

So darling, darling
Stand by me, oh stand by me
Oh stand now, stand by me, stand by me
Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me
Oh stand by me, oh won't you stand now, stand
Stand by me

Dear Beverly

I was thinking about you this morning ... stopped by to say just that.

             Mi Amor, you remembered me.

Always.

Found this old photograph of the two of us at Binion's Horseshoe.
Clearly drapes were sacrificed for that outfit.
Although I think Fran would have been glad to see them go!!!

Were we ever that young?
Compare it to this one over 37 years later.
Still the same beautiful smile.

Sounds like the perfect opportunity for that Bon Jovi "tune" that you loved so much.

"I dug up this old photograph ... Look at all that hair we had"  So true.

Enjoy.

http://youtu.be/nWuZMBtrc1E

Hello again, it’s you and me
Kinda always like it used to be
Sippin' wine, killing time
Trying to solve life’s mysteries.
How’s your life, it’s been a while
God it’s good to see you smile
I see you reaching for your keys
Looking for a reason not to leave.

If you don’t know if you should stay
If you don’t say what’s on your mind
Baby just, breathe there’s no where else tonight we should be-
You wanna make a memory.

I dug up this old photograph
Look at all that hair we had
It’s bittersweet to hear you laugh
Your phone is ringing, I don’t wanna ask.

If you go now, I’ll understand
If you stay, hey, I got a plan
You wanna make a memory
You wanna steal a piece of time
You could sing a melody to me
And I could write a couple lines
You wanna make a memory.

If you don’t know if you should stay
And you don’t say what’s on your mind
Baby just, breathe there’s no where else tonight we should be-
You wanna make a memory
You wanna steal a piece of time
You could sing a melody to me
And I could write a couple lines
You wanna make a memory
You wanna make a memory

Dear Beverly

Stopped in to say that you are in my heart.

        You remembered me.

Always.

In the summer of 2010, when you weren’t looking, all of your stuff was rummaged through and he used what he found to fire off yet another package of hate. 

The summer of 2010 saw the vice of control begin to tighten.

Once you lost the protection of your mother in December of 2009, it became so easy to inflict pain.

It must have been the magical concoction known as Pinkberry that set him off, or as you would call them Pink(sssss)berry! 

“Pink(sssss)berry, yummy,” you’d say.  

Could it have been the threat of these magical little tubs of yogurt and fruit that triggered such fear? 

If you ate enough of them, then perhaps the stalker’s spell would be broken? 

Was that it?

How is it even possible that that a simple thing like a holiday greeting card and an enclosed Pinkberry (oops, Pink(sssss)berry) gift card could be so twisted into an instrument to inflict pain?  

How evil is that? 

How is the thoughtfulness of a gift card such a threat? 

It was a reminder that you were not alone.

Was that the threat? 

Was it this simple reminder that you were not alone that triggered such venom?

What is it with people like that? 

I can’t even get my head around it.

Maybe all of us — each of us as individuals — should just reach out to our friends and family from time to time, quite randomly, and send little reminders that they too are not alone. 

Flowers unexpectedly; without an occasion … “was thinking of you.”  

A card to people we care about out of the blue, “just wanted to say hello.”

Does it always have to be a birthday or some Hallmark holiday to express these little acts of kindness and caring?

A stranger passing by, “good morning.”  Nothing more than a smile and a greeting.

What does it cost you?

The cashier at the supermarket, “How are you today?” 

The lady with packages at the post office, “Let me get that door for you.”

What does it cost you?

A simple thing like a Pink(sssss)berry gift card brought a smile to your face.

There are not enough Pink(sssss)berry gift cards in the world to bring one more of your lovely smiles to this world … not enough to bring yet another twinkle to your eye.

Not enough to hear you say one more time, “Pink(sssss)berry, yummy.”

And I am not supposed to be angry?

How can I set aside the hatred of a stalker; a bully; a control freak?

In the end you took control … you had the last word on the subject.

So sad … it is so incredibly sad.

Have a tune for you today … enjoy.

http://youtu.be/f2H-GiiDfnE

If you see your brother standing by the road
With a heavy load from the seeds he's sowed
And if you see your sister falling by the way
Just stop and stay you're going the wrong way

You got to try a little kindness
Yes show a little kindness
Just shine your light for everyone to see
And if you try a little kindness
Then you'll overlook the blindness
Of narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets

Don't walk around the down and out
Lend a helping hand instead of doubt
And the kindness that you show every day
Will help someone along their way

You got to try a little kindness
Yes show a little kindness
Just shine your light for everyone to see
And if you try a little kindness
Then you'll overlook the blindness
Of narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets

You got to try a little kindness
Yes show a little kindness
Just shine your light for everyone to see
And if you try a little kindness
Then you'll overlook the blindness
Of narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets

Dear Beverly

Just stopped in to say hello.

             Hi Doll, you remembered me.

Always.

Rainy, gloomy and colder (well, cooler anyway).
A melancholy day full of gray skies.
Cats won't be happy.  

Tune today ... enjoy

Everclear: Sunflowers

I know where you go when you want to fall
Why do you want to be broken?
I know where you go when you want to fall
Yes your friends they tell me everything

Yes I know where you go
Yes I know what you do
Yes I know the awful things you say and who you say them to
Yes I know where you go
Yes I know what you do

I know how you feel, you get crazy inside
They say it runs in the family
I know just how you feel when you get crazy inside
Your mom she said that you are just like me

I can see it in your eyes
I can see your shaky hands
Yes I think you think I'm stupid
You don't think I understand
Yes I see you and I see myself when I was a younger man

When you were a child
You were happy and free
You were my reason to live
I would die when you smiled at me

I can still see you
I remember you painting
Sunflowers in your room

I know where you go when you want to fall
Hey don't you want to be happy?
I know where you go when you want to fall
Your useless friends, they tell me everything

Everything
I see you run around in circles
I see you digging your own hole
I see you fight the fights you just can't win
I see you losing self control
What it does to me deep down inside I hope you will never know

When you were a child
You were happy and free
You were my reason to live
I would die when you smiled at me

I can still see you
Painting flowers on the wall
I remember you happy
I remember it all
All I want to remember
Pretty pictures on the wall
I remember you happy
I remember it all
All I want to remember
Sunflowers in your room